I am the King of all Saiyans!

Monday, April 26, 2010

return home again, again

The portal from Mirai's reality to my normal one left me a bit flustered. You see it's hot like spring unseasonal for this time of year in West City. Bulma , Bra, and Trunks look to be as confused as I am.

I shrug it's probably , an unseasonal warm snap, will make the New Year's party pretty interesting. Either way I have finally gotten Mirai out of my house, and back in his own timeline only one more to go, and the house will be kid free.

My ears perk at the sound of battle a few blocks away. Bulma gives me a weird look. " Oh come on Vegeta you've just gotten back from a battle."

I smirk. " I'm a saiyan woman, you knew that when we first got together I love to fight." I fly over to where I hear the sounds of battle.

I find at the scene Vincent who's been given a beatdown from some alien warrior.

" People of Earth! I have have beaten your mightiest warrior the King of Saiyans! As part of the new Galactic Law I now rule the Earth!"

Who came up with that? Let me guess some Bureaucrat thought it'd be a good idea to stop galactic wars, and blood shed sounds pretty dumb if you ask me. I guess the green freak hears my laughter.

" Another Saiyan? I have defeated your king. Do not interfere."

" Fool! That is my Son, And yes he may be strong but he's no where near the strongest on this planet! Kal-El The one they call Superman, The green beast called the Hulk, The clownish excuse for a saiyan Kakarot, that clowns children, my older children, and I , and several others are far, far stronger than the boy Vincent. Also you're wrong about one oher thing..."

"What's that?" he spits.


" Then you will be the one I crush I Velto the greatest warrior in the Galaxy!"

The so called "Great Warrior" leads with his face, and gets my fist in it. I transform while he's complaining, and elbow him in the guts.I don't let up for a second, he wants to to take over my planet? Bah! I'll show him.

After a few minutes of relentless beating He finally yells stop I yield!"

" Who says I do though ? HAHAHHAHAHA! BIG BANG ..."

The fear finally show in those black eyes. " I Yield stop STOP!"

I grin " ATTACK!" You see I only put enough on the blast to screw him up not enough to kill him if he gets medical attention that is. " Foolish creature, tell any who want to rule Earth that they will have to face the wrath of Vegeta now leave my world!"

Some lackeys come , and pull the battered being into a ship, an they leave I look down disapprovingly at my boy. " You let that beat you?"

" Well dad I was beating him, but I became cocky, and let him hit me with some attack...."

Damn he gets that honest, the beatings I took from Freeza, and Cell was because of my cockiness. I don't let that show as I say. " And King of Saiyans? What's that about?"

" We thought you were dead dad, you've been gone for months since after Christmas."

Before I'm about to ask him if he's been hit too hard, Trunks Flies up with a news paper. " He right Father. It's April now!"

Damn it Mirai not only sent us through space but through time too, good work boy. Idiot must get it from Bulma's side.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Finding Mirai.

Bulma opened up a portal to the peice. of crap world That Mirai has been teleported to. We left Behind Vincent, and Vella. Since One, In case we all die there will be some royal family left, besides Cabain, that pansy won't get the throne unlunless there is no saiyan left.. and two well I don't think their skills are all that great.

So Me, Trunks, Bra, and for some reason Bulma who just had to come step out from our Universe to into a dump.

" Look at the devastation " Bulma gasps.

" Hmph It's as bad as I can do ." I brag.

Bulma grunts " This isn't a contest."

Trunks moans " Mom, Dad Can we just find Mirai, and leave ?"

Bra laughs. " What are you afraid big bad Saiyan Prince?"

" Well unlike you I don't have the option of showing my underwear to evil."

" Quiet Children!" I snarl. " I find the boy's power level Which is harder than normal not just because of the bickering, but because of the fact Trunks, and Mirai are identical. It Makes things confusing But i suppose it helps theat there are only a few thousand people left on this ...where ever it is.

But I found Him, and I pick up Bulma, ( because I'm sure as Hell not leaving her alone out here.) and fly towards Mirai's Ki, the kids follow me.

We found him, An older version of Bulma a nother Cabain, and an older version of Batgirl in a ruined looking version of Capsule Corp. Mirai was kissing , and groping on older Cass, this disturbed Trunks.

" This is gross knowing she's our brother's girlfriend back home."

" Bah! I've walked in on you doing worse."

" You really need to learn to knock" he growls.

Mirai explained that this shithole is his reality of origin the time line we avoided by his trip through time all those years ago.

While is still a bit suspicious, it doesn't stop her from showing off baby pictures of Bra, and pictures of the other two. It didn't stop this reality's Cabain, was gushing all over me.

Think I prefer the one in my reality that hates me. Asfter I pry myself away from the gushing, Mirai tells me of his encounter with a robot tht is like a maniler Freeza. Sounds like Cooler b back when he was a cyborg.

Before I could regale Mirai with the tale of how, me, and the Clown Kakarot defeated Meta Cooler, and the Big Gete Star, The front door is destroyed, and in walks these things.

Well, that's new.

TBC In Trunks' blog.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Beware of Christmas cookies

So I was at the Capsule Corp Christmas Party, and was annoyed that Bulma had locked herself in her lab, after all this complaining about how I had to get out of my Gravity Room, and make an appearance. Bah! Seems Mirai vanished. Bah! He’s a big boy he can take care of himself.

As I mingled with people I don't care about at all, until I smelt a stench wafting across the room. Great, the female rodent.

“Are we gonna have problems bub?" Aw isn't that cute she's trying to imitate her whatever Logan is to her. No really it's not.

“Are you sleeping with one of my kids?" I ask.

“No" She States curtly.

I shrug "then we have no problem." She goes over to my children's little friends and very close to the blond speedster boy.

I then looked in on the kitchen, and saw this. Cassandra, and Vincent cooking... wait a second this could be dangerous. I turn to the gang of teenagers.

“Hey Blonde Girl!" I yell she gives me this little look.
“I have a name you know!"

“Yes but you’re not important enough for me to remember It." she grumbles at that. “Look Your Cassandra's friend; does she know how to cook?"

“No all she can do is crack skulls I thought Vincent was going to make those Christmas cookies!"

Me, Vella, Bra, And Trunks all look at each other. “Um Vincent can't cook either in fact he once blew up a microwave trying to make popcorn." Bra warns.

So when the kids come out with cookies we all hide them I accidentally drop two on the floor some bounce, and others crash through the floor. How does that happen? I'd have thought they would all have been made with the same ingredients.

From the smell alone the guests didn't eat them but there was one person who was dumb enough to not only eat his cookies, but sniff out, and find everyone else's. You can probably already guess who that was.

Guests started making excuses to leave early but we all know it was to escape the cookies. Bulma walks in soon after, and says she has traced where Mirai has vanished to. I’m all ready to go if it means being far away from those damned confections. Don’t want to Get my stomach pumped like Kakarot.

So remember if a kid that look like me with blue eyes accompanied by a dark haired girl offers you Christmas cookies just say no, and run screaming. Oh, and one more thing.

Happy Holidays

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I tracked down Jason well not really tracked down since I can read his ki and, fly to him. Of course he's in trouble again. Escaping from prison, and boy does he look different.

I almost didn't think it was him with the red hair, and really goofy costume." So what are you going to put me back in the pen? he asks.

"I'd never do that, look why did you send me that necklace? Do you want to get back together?"

He smirks and that's his only answer. “Jay I can't not with you shooting heroes, and a little kid!"

He growls “I didn't shoot Damien! That's what this is about? You know people from other realties were running around like crazy at that time Bats caught my doppelganger, Look I just use lethal force against scum not the good guys! I'm not like I was when I first got out of the Lazarus Pit."

“Alternate Universe really that's your excuse?" I shake my head.

"Oh that's nice, you don't trust me, why should you be any different? Look go to the JLA Satellite you'll see Bruce locked my other self in there now I gotta get scarce."

I Flew to the Satellite, and well phased right in using my ring. The only one in there was Hawkman, and he was trying to hit a cock roach with his mace, he didn't even notice me. I wandered around until I sensed a familiar ki. It was Jason but not.

He babbled about Superboy Prime and all this junk he seemed to know me, but I'm not sure. Any way Jay… Mine any way wasn't lying or at least told a half truth. I guess I could try to read his mind but I don't want to see that clown beating him with a crowbar again.

I asked pretty much everyone what I should do. A lot of people said I should stay away from Jason he's an irredeemable psycho. Others' said I should go back

Dad chuckled and said Jason reminded him of him at that age... that's not good daddy killed whole populations full of planets at that age...

Layra says something like “Why are ya askin' me fer I'm worse at relationships than you are bub Snikt bub Snikt!"

Well it was something like that any way. Jon the IG Said I should let him borrow my GL ring. Not sure how that helps.

Well I got invited by Wonder Woman to some Winter Festival Thingy on Paradise Island I guess I could take Jason along and see where it goes, well Cass wants All of Legacy to on some kind of mission Maybe I'll get to hit something that'll make feel better.. What? I am half saiyan.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Happy late Halloween

Well I am now making the Galaxy nervous controlling over 100,000 beings that can destroy planets Ah it's so good to have the saiyan name feared again.

But anyway, Capsule Corp had it's Halloween party, and it was another one of those boring social occasions I usually loathe, but this one had something funny happen. You see Bulma attacked The Red Hood.

You see she doesn't like Red Hood, and doesn't want him around our youngest daughter. Me on the other hand I like the kid think he's tough. It;s not like I min Vella's infatuation with Superboy, I kind of worry any offspring Kon'd create would be as stupid as he is since he is a clone created from two men, it's kind of doubtful he can father children really.

Okay I'm digressing. What's really funny s that for all Bulma's Supposed "genius" she didn't notice " Red Hood" was three feet tall. Yes she shot at a trick or treater.

Her night in jail did nothing to cool her off, good thing her parents paid off the kid's mother.is it wrong that I find the whole thing hilarious?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

it's my blog birthday

Yes it is once again my blog birthday. And I told everyone. The clown Kakarot didn't seem to understand it. “Wow! You’re still doing that? I haven't updated mine in wow a long time!"

“Bah! That's because you have the attention span, of a gnat on speed!"

I went around telling my children Trunks didn't care Bra was too busy shopping for shoes, she already has two dozen pairs how many does she need?

Vincent asked “How come you weren’t this excited about mine, and Vella's birthday a couple of days ago?"

I just roll my eyes at that Vella ate a bunch of sugar and was yammering something at a mile a minute so I doubt she'd appreciate the news, and Mirai was doing something odd staring at Cassandra Cain in the Legacy Building through his window.

"The Hell?" I shout.
“You’re going to talk about the age thing again father? Look Vincent doesn’t treat her right I can if she'd give me the chance but... ahhh I can't talk to you when you’re judging me like this!"

Okay that was weird. And a little ironic after the whole Galen/ Justice thing in the other reality. Suppose there is something to this "karma" stuff Bulma keeps babbling about.

I decided to forget about Mirai's new odd personality trait And tell the Namek Piccolo about my Blog Birthday

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice to know you have no life Vegeta!"

So after I beat the living crap out of him I fly around the world until I find Tien , and Chiatzou.

" We don't care Vegeta now if you excuse us we're want to go back to spending long hours together in the woods alone where no one can see us."

Ew. That's... well I've never flown away from anywhere faster in my life.

I decide to go to the new Saiyan home world where Bulma is trying to grow the bottle city, and remind her; well she's less than caring. "Vegeta I have to run go through all these calculations, and double check them if I don't then the bottle city will explode instead of expand."

She types in something into a computer, and she fires this ray gun she was holding, then the city grows to the size of a normal city. All the newly grown saiyans stumble around greeted by the saiayns that I've already been ruling for the last year or so.

“Greetings I am Vegeta the Second! King of all Saiyans! Now I know you're confused but we you are now back to your normal sizes! We shall celebrate... my blog's birthday...."

One raises his hand “Sire? What's a blog?"

Before I can answer this fat saiyan gets up into my face. “I was the ruler of these people I lord Onio! I became a Super saiyan in the bottle I am the strongest fighter in the Universe! I challenge you for king ship of the saiyan race!" Lord? I hope that’s a given title, and he’s not related to me.

This skanky looking saiyan woman yells “Yes my husband crush that midget!"

He then transforms.

And then he does this.

Yeah... I have no idea what that was supposed to be.

As you can see I instinctually became an SS4 I regain my composure. “Well that level is impressive. Or at least it was when I achieved it decades ago." I flick him with my finger smashing him into a mountain that crumbles onto him.

He digs his way out holding his head then he bows. “I surrender my king."

His wife shouts at him " You're not the strongest in the Universe I want a divorce! She then turns to me Are you seeing anyone?" Wow. Talk about shallow.

Bulma gets in between us “Yes he is!"

At this moment the saiyans from the bottle, and the colonies who already knew me began chanting my name. I ask for silence. “That’s all very good, but now how will we celebrate my blog's birthday eh?"

Silence. Bah!

Monday, October 19, 2009

What the hell is going on.

I've pretty much stopped reacting to things that do not jive with my memories. I've realized that if I kept doing so everyone would think I've lost my mind, and I'd end up in a nut house, or killed by one of my kids who decided to become ambitious.

Yeah right, they've been too coddled by their mother to try, and strike me. That's disappointing really. Anyway, if this is my reality, there's nothing I can do about it, and I'll have to live with the changes, if it's not, well my Bulma will likely find me soon enough.

Vella is being annoying , she keeps asking me what I'm going to get her for her, and Vincent's bitrthday this Thursday. I keep telling her since it's her 18th I'm going to kick her out on her lazy back side, some reason she giggles like she thinks I'm kidding.

Bah! One good thing about Vincent is he moved out into that Legacy HQ, and trunks has his own place, but Bra, Mirai, and Vella still live here, and I want them out! Of course Bulma will want them to stay as long as possible.

I growl as Vincent wanders up to me " So pop you wanted to see me?"

"Yes You're getting lazy, not training, and only fighting when your little friends go out playing superhero."

"Well excuse me dad if I'd rather spar with an attractive woman that you!"

“That woman of yours isn't strong enough to push you to new levels!" I argue.

He snorts. “I’m already one of the strongest people my age, why would I need to get stronger?"

“Because boy, Conner Kent gets stronger each day just by being in the sun and now apparently the Hulk has a son you need to keep up, and surpass them."

He just laughs, and walks off, and he wonders why I picked Trunks as my heir. I stalk to my Gravity Room, cursing how all my children seem to get this slacker attitude, when I sense something is off.

I don't know what it is but it’s something. Then this odd smoke starts filling the room, and a man with no face leaps out from it.

“The Universe has changed!" he raves. “And you're the only one that benefits from all the changes!"

He tries to strangle me without any success. I back hand the crackpot. “Look Question I'm in the dark as you are!" Like how did this person get past all the security, and my ki sense?

He pulls a gun, and fires I grab the bullet out of the air, and quickly realize I'm bleeding. "Adamantium." The Question brags. Damn that mans Logan actually could cut me with those claws if he put more force behind them, disconcerting.

My speed closes the gap in between us, and I grab the Question by the neck. As I'm about to put an end to him I sense this odd ki. I shatter the Question's gun, and follow the ki to it's source, and then I have to ask “Okay, why is there, a bald man, in a skirt in my living room?"

"The Watcher!" The Question blurts out, me I've heard rumors of such a being if they are true why the Hell is it in my living room?

“Okay Watcher what are you doing here?" I demand.

“I am here to see your decision." He responds.

“Eh?" Is all I can say in answer.

“You are two of the few beings in this Universe that know it was recreated, I am curious to see how you’ll use this information."

“How did this happen?" the Question um questions.

" A piece of his son Mirai's psyche, that had gotten it's own body used the Dragon Balls. To erase events it did not like, this with other retcons destroyed the fabric of reality, and it rebuilt itself differently.

“I always knew using the Dragon Balls would lead to something like this." The Question whines.

“Okay how come we remember the old reality?" I ask. Already getting bored.

" Beacuse you Vegeta, have constantly traveled through time or dimensions so often, that you actually have memories of alternate versions o yourself, for example you met your wife on Namek, but you remember meeting her before that, that never happened in this reality before or after the changes."

His voice is so damn monotone I almost fall asleep twice during his long explanation. “So why does faceless here still remember the old reality?"

“He has perceptions that go beyond the normal."

I think about that for a second... "In other words he's completely insane ... got it."

“Insanity is only behavior that society deems inappropriate." Question chimes in. "

“Keep telling yourself that nutbar." I laugh.

But the Watcher doesn't leave he keeps staring at me... being creepy. " Okay what?"

“What will you do about the universe? Try to turn it back, or leave it alone?" The bald man in dress asks.

" I have a bottle city full of saiyans about to make me a galactic power, Father never invaded Earth meaning saiyans are like more that Kryptonians. I'm apparently not related to Justice, meaning I have no obligation to be in the Corru War,which means less saiyans have died. Finally Bra isn't married to that boy Goten who isn't even worthy to lick her boots, I like this new reality, and I'll kill whoever tries to put it back." I glare at the Question.

The Universe probably shouldn't be retconned again, next time dinosaurs could rule the Earth or immoral sociopath Space Monkeys." The Question says before giving a look, I throw a vase that used to be owned by Bulma's grandmother at him.

" Leave my home!" The Wathcher vanishes, and Question wanders off muttering things to himself.

Bulma skips in cheerfully " Vegeta! I'm able to grow the saiyans back to normal size... grandma's vase? What did you do?"

Great after all that annoyance from the Question I have to listen to Bulma gripe now... this just isn't my day.